I don’t understand.

i. I don’t understand how some people write so beautifully when they feel so ugly inside,

And I don’t understand how some people turn the simplest words into magic when everything is alright,

I don’t understand why I can’t do the same but,

I don’t understand a lot of things and I don’t feel like trying to write about them again.

But, at this point, I feel like I am forcing myself

And I cannot seem to help.

ii. My vocabulary is not that great,

Out of all apps on my phone, I like the offline dictionary the best!

And because I often fail to find the perfect words,

I start with the thought of writing one but end up writing ten.

iii. I can’t fit in small spaces very easily.

I squeeze my bones, I even empty my chest,

But I cannot bring myself to write short poems sometimes,

So, when I feel like writing epics,

I decide to give it all up instead.

iv. I know,

I know nobody likes listening to such trivial problems,

Problems that I have most likely created in my head.

And I know,

I know there are ways to make everything better but,

I am very little and very stupid.

And I absolutely don’t understand the things people say.

v. Well, maybe, I can just push aside my thoughts,

Threaten them to go away but,

What help would that be until,

I get rid of the one who brought them
into this world in the first place.

vi. Change of topic, I have been talking only about myself,

And because I can’t come up with better things to write about
(seriously, I’m a very boring poet)

I am trying to write a rhyme!

And you’ve probably already lost interest,

Before I could even begin to make any efforts to make it last, to make it stay

But hey!

All things have to leave one day.

So, how does it matter, anyway?

vii. But looks like you’re still reading!

So, I really hope you don’t relate,

To all the things I just said.

And I hope you don’t worry about me, (although I know you won’t)

But humans need reminders like this

Since they love doing exactly the opposite of what you wish they did.

I know! It’s ridiculous, but, take me for an example.

Well? It’s easy to believe me now, isn’t it?

viii. I guess I should stop now.

Guess I should not waste,

Another minute on framing yet another pointless phrase.

Or another verse or another poem!

Oh, and these numbers are just to count,

How many irrational complaints I can make in just one day.

ix. Dammit! It’s only been an hour.

Should I, maybe, go back to bed?

Pull out my favourite list of hateful adjectives that I have especially written for myself,

And repeat them until I fall asleep?

Should I try to dream about writing a better poem until I wake up, dead?

Nah! I only need some rest.

*wink*


Comment down below one word that describes a person who always whines, seeks attention and keeps talking about himself or herself!

46 thoughts on “I don’t understand.

  1. We are all unique in our own way and I really enjoyed reading this very much you are a very talented writer with a great imagination for the real and the surreal.
    Donโ€™t ever doubt your ability as a writer because youโ€™re fantastic.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I absolutely did itโ€™s wonderful that you share your unique gift with the world Iโ€™m grateful I got to read it I hope you have a wonderful day too.โค๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

          1. My absolute pleasure dear I love having you as one of mine too youโ€™re wonderful.โค๏ธ

            Like

  2. I guess most writers relate to this! I don’t think we needn’t worry about you because humans don’t worry but rather because this is so normal and decent of a behaviour!! Wish you lots of luck little friend ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ’–

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Elber. I guess you’re right that most writers can relate to this. Thought it’d be funny if I said I hope they didn’t. Have a beautiful day, kind friend โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Anu, we all feel like this at some time or the other (though most won’t admit it!)
    Write your heart out, my dear for you express yourself beautifully. ๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ

    Like

  4. The one word:

    Narcissistic . . .

    I read your postscript as well as the poem. Be who you are, while you can be who you are now. Human beings are ever-evolving. Peace, young one.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It was fun to read Anu..
    I could relate though.
    Infact when I write I face the same issue. Finding words is difficult and I always wonder how these people mix up words that I havenโ€™t even heard.
    But finally I keep things simple, I just use simple words to explain my post.
    You actually spoke the mind of many who has same kind of thoughts…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so happy to see your comment, Chiru. I’m glad you liked it.

      Yes. You’re right. A lot of us face this problem. I’ve seen some people give up writing because they can’t understand or use uncommon English words like others. It’s sad but it’s true. We compare ourselves with others so often that we forget we should learn from their awesomeness. I also like using simple words, words that I know. And if I don’t know a word, I always have a dictionary! ๐Ÿ˜€ Life’s easy!

      Thank you for stopping by. Have a wonderful day! ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Enjoyed reading this post… Happens… When you write just write what you feel and what you want to express. Don’t force yourself to write… Writing doesn’t require power packed words, if you can touch the heart of the readers with simple and easy to understand language, then you are an artist…

    Just see this post only, you wrote it simple and it being liked by many including me… Keep writing… ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’ฏ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment is so meaningful. Oh, I’m glad you liked the poem! I also agree with what you just said. Writing is indeed all about expressing ourselves. I used to, and sometimes still, try really hard to use better, more beautiful words but often fail. Hopefully, I shall learn how to expand my vocabulary as a part of learning new things, instead of trying to make only my poems look and sound better. And so will others like me ๐Ÿ˜€

      Once again, thank you for stopping by. Have a wonderful day ahead โค

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hey Anupriya. I know minds work this way, but you aren’t boring. I loved reading this and I could relate much. Sometimes you sit on the table, and write jibberish until it turns out to the the beautiful manifestation of your feelings. Have a nice day! And take care๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by, Ramyani. You’re right, this is how minds work. Hehe. I’m glad you liked the poem.
      I hope you’re having a good dayโค๏ธ

      Like

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