Have I lost my sight?

Quick Note – I decided to try something different and I’m not sure if it worked. But I am sharing it anyways. Criticism, advice, appreciation, everything is welcome. Enjoy!

P.S. – You might have to read it twice to be able to make sense out of it. Sorry.

A cloud,
Soaked in every last drop of dullness that it can hold,
Sits on your eyes,
while you sit on my lap.

Like the delicate head of a sleepy bird
Sits on it’s narrow neck.
It’s neck covered in feathers all fluffed up,
So the head doesn’t fall off.

Just like that but not entirely, you sit on my bony thighs,
Unable to find comfort
But refusing to find it somewhere else.

Your eyes show me how you have been crying
And I can see their wild urge to leave,
In the sharp reflections that your warm tears create.

Can you see how they charge goodbyes for mourning now?
No. Eyes don’t want to be closed.
They want you to let them go.

And their last words echo,
“Clouds don’t like bursting untimely.”

Your eyes show me how you can be brighter than it’s safe to be,
And how you change so unnaturally, you keep saying,
“The heads I see turn away before me.”
You make me wonder if you remember that mine didn’t.

Sometimes you say that
You’re a stealer.
Sometimes you like stealing lights
From those who still haven’t forgotten how to shine.
At times you feel poor.
At times your eyes refuse to open and,
The world seems to be getting darker and darker,

Sometimes you say, “What they give is never enough and that is why,
I am a giver at times.
At times I take away their clouds,
At times I even make them mine.”
And you make me wonder how a human being can be so kind.

I can hear your voice in my head all the time
But, it’s different tonight.
Tonight, you’re not thinking about giving or stealing.
Your sky is clear, your clouds are feather- light.
Your eyes can see beyond yourself and,
I can see beyond your bright eyes.

While still on my lap,
Uncomfortable as ever,
You ask, “Is it too dark or have I lost my sight?”

Right then, I place you delicately inside my weak, cushiony heart,
Then, fall down on my knees as I say,
“Breathe. This is what it looks like when we’re together.
This is what it looks like,

I hope you’re all having a brilliant day ❤

29 thoughts on “Have I lost my sight?

  1. एक मिश्रित लघुकथा (प्रेम-विरह-आकांक्षा-एहसास-इंतिज़ार) 👌✍️✍️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. आपकी पंक्तियां बेहद अच्छी होती हैं मैं ही थोड़ा अंग्रेज़ी में कमज़ोर हूं 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

        1. हो सकता है आप अंग्रेजी में कमजोर हो मगर आप हिंदी में असाधारण है। और वह एक बहुत बड़ी बात है। आजकल अधिकतर लोग अंग्रेज में ही लिखना पसंद करते है। आपकी कविताओं को पढ़कर अच्छा लगा 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. आपकी सोच अकल्पनीय है, आपके विचारों से मैं पूर्णतः सहमत हूं। इसके विपरीत आपकी अंग्रेजी असाधारण है मेरे लिए, जो मुझे अनुवादक के प्रयोग हेतु विवश करती है। आपके इसने सारे शब्दों के लिए बहोत-बहोत धन्यवाद। आशा करता हूँ और भी अच्छी पंक्तियां आपसे पढ़ने को मिलेंगी। फिर से शुक्रिया🙏

            Liked by 1 person

  2. First Impression: Fascinating structure. Tons of incredibly good lines. Beautiful word choices. A bit hard to understand, but still accessible.

    Absolutely loved this: “…you keep saying,
    “The heads I see turn away before me.”
    You make me wonder if you remember that mine didn’t.”

    Especially, “The heads I see turn away before me”! That is as close to perfect in suggesting a certain feeling as is possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Amy. I feel like it’s difficult to understand too but I didn’t feel that while I was writing it. Probably because I had figured it out in my head. I’ll try improving it soon! Thanks for stopping by. Have a beautiful day ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Brilliantly written. The beautiful thing about poetry is that it can be as clear-cut or indecipherable as the writer wishes it to be. You have enough here that is understandable to pull the reader in and enough that is not clear to reel the reader back in for a closer look.

    Great poem!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for taking out the time to read the poem, making such amazing observations and leaving such an honest comment. I really appreciate it 🙂 Have a beautiful day ❤️


  4. I tend to read poetry with an attitude of simply letting the words wash over me. Your poems always make me feel something. “Making sense” is less important than the impression it leaves.

    You leave quite an impression. You are a beautiful writer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You just made my entire friggin’ day, José! I’m so happy to read your comment. You’re such a kind person ❤ I will keep your precious advice in mind. Thank you so very much. Have a wonderful day!

      Liked by 1 person

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