I’m not afraid of dying.

I’m not afraid of dying
I’m afraid of living like a corpse.

I don’t mind not having a deathbed
I mind being the dead’s incarnation
I’ll rather lie in my coffin
With lilies, orchids and carnations.

I’ll sleep in the graveyard
Under a blank gravestone
With rotting leaves and flowers
And my rotting brain and bones.

But I hesitate in closing my eyes
While my heart is still beating,
I’m afraid of running out of blood,
When my skin isn’t bleeding.

I am fine with being forgotten,
And dying with a restless soul
But I’m afraid of losing my mind,
My sleep, my tranquility, my home.

I’m not afraid of wiping tears,
I can hear everyone sob
But I fear losing everyone I love
I fear living like a corpse.

Burnt skin, scarred neck
I am not afraid of being choked.
Dying every night but waking up alive.
I’m afraid of living like a corpse.

I fear being hunted by humans
More than I fear being hunted by ghosts
I’m not afraid of dying
I’m afraid of living like a corpse.

What are you afraid of?

P.S.– I left blogging in July’18. If you have been following my blog, you know my story. If you don’t, read “THE STORY OF MY BLOG”

I decided to start blogging again because I couldn’t stay away. Blogging has become a big part of my life. I needed a break from it and that is why I wasn’t blogging for a while.

It is not that I have thousands of followers who wait for my posts and sometimes I feel like whatever I am doing is useless.

But I have this really long history with blogging and giving up all of a sudden is something I cannot do.

All my deleted posts are drafts now and I am not sure if I will post them again. I also don’t think I will post regularly but I will post whenever I write something that might be worth sharing.

Keep following ❀ Have a great day ahead

55 thoughts on “I’m not afraid of dying.

  1. “I’m not afraid of dying
    I’m afraid of living like a corpse.” — this line got me

    Its like you’re not afraid of death, but having a life that is lifeless– is what you fear.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. What am I afraid of? All sorts of things. Thermonuclear war between the US and China or Russia. Or between India and Pakistan. Global Climate Change. The destruction of whole ecosystems and the extinction of species. But you are not asking about those fears, are you?

    You mean personal fears?

    There has not been much I’ve been afraid of since I was 37. Some strange events that year left me without many fears. Only I didn’t quite realize for some years later just how fearless I had become. I certainly have my limits, but not many of my limits these days have much to do with fears.

    I have only just read a few of your posts, but I am impressed with the quality of your poetry and prose. Fifteen, you say? Gifted, I say.

    You strike me as having your limits, but I suspect you will grow out of most of them.

    May I ask you to elaborate on what you mean by “living like a corpse”? That is, if you mean anything more to it than you have already expressed so well in your poem. No need to repeat what you’ve already said about it. But I’m curious if there’s more to what you mean by “living like a corpse” than you’ve already stated?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Of course. There are so many things to be afraid of. With the exception of the fears that I have created in my head (For that is what I think about personal fears- It’s all in our head), I am afraid of hundreds of other things!
      And I hope that there will come a time when I will be fearless. Your words give me hope, and then they don’t. (That is a totally different poem! )
      I feel so happy when you say that I’m gifted. I hope I don’t sound too proud.

      There are other things that I mean when I say “I’m afraid of living like a corpse” but I don’t feel comfortable about talking about them.
      It was nice responding to this particular comment. Have a good day ahead!

      Liked by 1 person

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