I feel uneasy.

“I am running out of words

And thoughts

And imagination

And metaphors

And poetry

And tears.

I am running out of time.”

I face this very often.

The daunting phase of nothingness.

Empty. I feel empty very often.

There is so much beneath my ribs,

They are drenched in vacuity.

There is so much inside the arteries of my brain

That sometimes, I feel uneasy. They can rupture anytime.

My fingers feel inflamed,

And a pen is enough to soothe them but,

My nails, drenched in agony, make that nonviable.

There are so many things that I want to reveal but,

My throat is inflated with letters,

And although my tongue is prepared to construct

A cloud of verses,

My muscles are not okay with opening their exits

And my ribs are now comfortable with the void that they cannot fill up.

There is so much that needs to be pulled out but,

My ailing avidity says that everything looks better in a black hole.

There is so much that needs nothing but an escape but,

I am running out of tears and my throat is swollen,

My fingers are inflamed.

I am stuck inside a labyrinth that I created for myself,

A labyrinth that exists in my eyes.

But now that my tears are finding a new abode,

I cannot slither down my cheeks and

Evacuate my labyrinth.

There is so much more that I need to say but

I cannot put myself through another daunting phase.

A daunting phase of nothingness.

“I am running out of breath

And moisture

And comfort

And passion

And courage

And morale.

I am running out of myself.”


This is a very recent poem.

Check out Wrap up the clouds, if you haven’t already.

53 thoughts on “I feel uneasy.

    1. Maybe, I really need to take a break. But that will be the hardest thing to do. After all, the feeling of nothingness is what stays. Everything happens in front of it. Words happen in front of it and so does nothing.

      Thank you for the appreciation!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Emotional emptiness is sometimes painful and you think that your existence does not make sense, but you are a well-centered, talented, young and beautiful woman. With love and approval, you can overcome this bump. Anyway, your verses came out with that emotion of saying everything and the poem was great. A good weekend.

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    1. You are right about emotional emptiness. It comes with the feeling of self hatred and sometimes that is all that suffocating minds need to breathe again. Weird but true.

      Thank you for the appreciation.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You can’t imagine how much your words mean to me! Because I feel just the same, I have felt it so much that it’s normal for me to wake up and feel nothing, like waves wash over me.
    I have bookmarked your post and I will read it often.. because it gives words to my unfeeling mind
    ❤️

    Like

    1. I’m so happy to know that you found this poem relatable but I’m so sad about it at the same time. May you heal and find your words again. May this feeling gets lost in the middle of the ocean and the waves wash you over with all that your mind needs. ❤️ Sleep well!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m pleased to finally reach your blog, Anupriya. This poem illustrates why Phil rates you so highly.

    I don’t know if you feel the same, but to me, writing is all, and yet it is nothing. While we write we sometimes expect the best of our words to flash forever over our private patch of sky. We might even think that they fill a void, but they fall into it, so we write them again and again, each time in a different way. Sometimes our hollow passion feels consumed, but it always returns.

    I could equally say writing is nothing, yet it is all, like breathing. As long as your hands can hold a pen, or your fingers can press a keyboard, never stop breathing your gorgeous combinations of words. Never stop recording your feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that you checked out my blog. Thank you, Jane.

      I agree with you. Writing is indeed all and yet it is nothing.
      Sometimes we create a void and wait for our words to fill it up but then suddenly, our words don’t feel enough. They keep disappearing. They come and go, just like you said.

      They’re very strange, our thoughts and the words we use to create them. You’re right about how writing is like breathing.

      It’s just that, sometimes, the words we breathe, go stale. Sometimes, our words shatter like ice before they fall into the void. Very strange, but also very interesting.

      So I guess, eventually, everyone learns how to handle words without cutting their hands and breathe out the ones that cannot be kept inside their lungs for too long. Because how else can we never stop recording our feelings?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Even your comments are poetry. We are divided by thousands of miles, by differing cultures, by almost half a century, and yet I think there is a deep level of understanding here. Of the two of us, you are the more remarkable; you have absorbed a great deal of wisdom at a very early age. It would seem that you have experienced a high level of suffering, but it takes more than suffering to write and to think as you do.

        I hope my comments don’t sound patronising; they couldn’t be less so. Rather, they are intended to describe admiration.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m sorry I couldn’t check your comment until right now. It was hidden in the spam section. WordPress is really annoying sometimes.

          Sadly, that’s true. We’re miles apart. But I feel so happy to know that you think there is a deep level of understanding between you and me. That makes me feel delighted because you are incredible. And how can you not be incredible? It was your comment that inspired my comment. So all the credit goes to you.
          Thank you for the admiration! You have no idea how much your words mean to me.
          I hope you have a wonderful week ahead. Keep inspiring, Jane. You’re so amazing.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. But this is the power of poetry and the poet. It must touch the heart of readers. I really liked the way you present that pain with such a touching sense. Really an adorable work This situation is frequent in the life of writers & thanks a lot for sharing it in beautiful poetic form ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We all go through these phases of angst- ridden nothingness. Love the way you have expressed it so beautifully. Sometimes giving voice to this emptiness helps…it is finding resonance with so many! Anu, you are a bundle of talent! God bless. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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